Posts

On a roll.

I don’t want to be tripping on anyone. I want my peace of mind. But in the back of my mind there you are. Still distant and still cold with a semi loving disposition. Holding back. It could never be me. Either I’m in or I’m out. I’m still in. I think. Maybe. I don’t know. All I care about is feeling better. Keep laughing and smiling, not be all in my fuckin feelings and emotionally dependent on anyone’s mood or sobriety. It’s official, I’m one of those women that have these boyfriends that are no good for them because they’re all over the place dealing with some drug addiction and the girl is like, “okay”. Nah. That shit sucks balls. Not my cup of tea. I want my peace of mind and feeling love and respect. Genuinely. Don’t tell me what I want to hear. Keep it G. One hundred. Be true. Have some fucking integrity.

Otra vez marihuana.

  You can only wish y me cago de la risa . Esa no te la sabias sin intencion de rimar . A la verga . Ando bien marihuana y no puedo dejar de sonreir . No se que putas voy hacer pero neta voy a hacer algo pero ahorita ni me pregunten . Me quisiera relajar pero estoy hasta mi puta madre marihuana. Bien  bmarihauan que hasta me quisiera vomitar no mames . Esa noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo lol Te lo juro que ahi te hablan . Me cago de la risa . Todavia tengo hartas ganas de vomitar . I love you. I can’t see you with nobody else. I can’t see another man hold you. Niggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ... Siento que me tiran pedradas pero igual me cago de la risa . You gotta laugh at yourself sometimes and keep it pushing. I got good ones too. My sister still hasn’t said anything about paying for my trip and it’s not looking too good at this point. The money a nd it’s extra on extra and extra and she needs to talk wit...

What is love? Baby, don’t hurt me.

That fuckin song came to my mind after realizing I had woken up from some fucked up dream. That’s honestly, the only fucking way of putting it. What I do know about fucked up dreams, I just know I dre am some weird shit sometimes. I’m texting with my sister and she can’t figure out who the fuck she’s talking to. I was kinda laughing when my in-laws soon to be ex in-laws came knocking at the bedroom doo r to check up on me. So much drama and I’m out of need or desire to be a part of this drama so I think I better start checking out. I’m thinking of my options. I’m kinda worried, but I’m not really tripping. God got me is what I tell myself and then He makes it happen because it will happen somehow and I’m not tripping on how that is I just know I end up okay. My sister is calling . She couldn’t believe she was talking to me the whole time. I feel like throwing up but I’m also kinda faded and hungry. What the fuck is up with that? My sister said she would think about paying for my tr...

Cuando las drogas controlan.

Le pregunto a mi suegra si todo está bien y me contesta que si así fuera me hubiera recogido del trabajo. Me imagino la frustración de mi suegro. Cuando llegué a la casa, me lo encontré en el patio de atrás, e n el teléfono y fumando un cigarrillo. Lo salude y después entre a la casa, al cuarto vacío y la llave de la regadera corriendo.   ¿Que se le va a hacer si no se quiere poner las pilas? Es cosa de cada semana y parece no tener remedio ni fin . Y yo que lo quiero tanto. Y yo que me chupo el dedo creyendo que esta será la última vez , pero así pensé la última vez y ve .     Me engaño yo misma y es un consuelo agridulce. La droga controla, decía aquel que tampoco podía dejar las drogas. Como olvidar el día que me grito que era un drogadicto y le gustaban las drogas. El descaro de sus palabras me sorprendió y hasta la fecha me atormenta porque la historia sigue repitiéndose .   Mi suegra lo toma mejor que yo. Es la costumbre que ya no pide c...